A Colorado mom who lost her 32-year-old husband to cancer has spoken out about how she navigated being a widowed single mother-of-two and finding her ‘new normal’ after his death – and how she is now helping others through their grief.
Emily Bingham’s husband Ian died of uveal melanoma in 2019 after being diagnosed with a rare cancer at just 24 years old and years of battling for his life.
‘I went from being a loving, supportive wife and stay-at-home mom to a 12-month-old and a three-year-old, to taking on new roles as a widow, single parent, and the head of the household,’ Emily, who met Ian – an avid surfer – in college when they were both 18, shared.
‘All of the intense emotions of grief, in addition to the anxiety of starting a “new normal” without him, left me feeling paralyzed.’
Emily Bingham’s husband Ian was diagnosed with uveal melanoma in 2019 aged 24 after waking up unable to see
The diagnosis led the pair to getting married and embrace whatever time they had together. The pair welcomed two children
Pictured are the couple on their wedding day. Two weeks before the nuptials, Ian’s eye was removed because radiation was ineffective
Reflecting on their journey, Emily shared that in 2011, while she was in grad school in Pittsburgh and Ian was working in Beijing, China, he called her in tears. He had woken up unable to see, and the doctor had discovered a tumor in his eye. It turned out to be uveal melanoma, a rare cancer affecting about 2,000 people annually, mostly the elderly. Ian was just 24 years old.
‘All of Ian’s big career dreams and travel adventures suddenly didn’t matter as we confronted the real possibility of losing him. When you’re dealing with something as serious as a terminal illness, you stop dreaming about the future and start living in the now. We decided to get married and embrace whatever time we had together,’ explained Emily.
Just two weeks before their wedding, Ian was told he would nee to have his eye removed because radiation wasn’t working, and the tumor was growing.
The couple’s wedding and honeymoon marked the last time he would see Emily with both of his eyes.
Two years later, the couple celebrated the arrival of their daughter, Izzy, followed by the birth of their son, Theo.
‘We thought we had fought the cancer, but we were wrong,’ Emily said
‘Ian’s physical therapist, who had been helping him with lower back pain, called with more shocking news. An MRI revealed tumors all over his spine. We raced to the ER, thinking we’d get immediate answers. Hours stretched into days until, eventually, we were told Ian’s uveal melanoma had spread to his spine, lungs, and abdomen. It was stage four.’
For 15 months, Ian and Emily travelled back and forth to MD Anderson, renowned cancer center in Houston, participating in experimental studies in search of a miracle.
‘From there on, it was one bad diagnosis after another,’ Emily recalled.
Their wedding and honeymoon marked the last moments Ian saw Emily with both eyes
The couple celebrated the arrival of their daughter, Izzy, followed by the birth of their son, Theo. Ian is seen here with his daughter by his bedside
Sadly in 2019, doctors discovered a massive spinal tumor that required immediate surgery. Despite surgery Ian’s cancer had spread, and the couple were told hospice was the last option
His last 25 days were spent in a room with a stunning view of Hawaii’s Mokulua Islands, which had been kindly gifted to Ian by a friend
‘On New Year’s Day in 2019, Ian woke me up in a panic, unable to move his legs. Doctors discovered a massive spinal tumor requiring immediate surgery.
‘Although it was predicted he might end up in a wheelchair, he walked out of the hospital after two weeks of rehab. Ian then said he wanted to return to his Hawaiian hometown, sensing time slipping away, so we packed for a three-week getaway.
‘It was a good holiday. He enjoyed his final moments – splashing with our kids in the water, eating his favorite meals, and catching up with friends. He really wanted to surf and swim like old times, but cancer pain kept getting in the way. Eventually, he went to a hospital in Honolulu as the pain was just too intense.’
Ian’s cancer had spread, and the couple were told hospice was the last option. His last 25 days were spent in a room with a stunning view of the Mokulua Islands, which had been kindly gifted to Ian by a friend.
‘I moved through each day, feeling numb and robotic. I cared for him, bathed him, administered medication, and shared time with friends who kept him company by his hospital bed,’ Emily said.
‘The day he died, he left us just as the sun was rising, before the kids and I woke up, and when the night nurse had taken his coffee break. Ian went alone, probably with his surfboard, to catch the first waves of the day.’
Emily revealed she met Ian – an avid surfer – in college when they were both 18
For several months, Emily felt powerless. She had lost her focus and direction in life in her new role as a widowed mom and didn’t know where to even start rebuilding her life
Emily now helps grievers find healing, meaning and purpose in life after loss through her online coaching programs, in-person retreats, and her book, Love & Grief (pictured)
For Emily, moveTHRU – a company she founded to connect those who’ve experienced loss through exercise – is a healing source and a way to find meaning in Ian’s death
For several months, Emily felt powerless. She had lost her focus and direction in life in her new role as a widowed mom and didn’t know where to even start rebuilding her life.
As a former ballerina and spin and barre instructor, she did what felt most natural to her — she started moving her body.
‘While I felt trapped in my mind, I felt a sense of freedom with every burpee, a hint of courage with every rep of a heavyweight, and a glimmer of hope with every drop of sweat fleeing my body. As I lay in shavasana, the instructor left us with three words: I am enough. It was all I needed to hear.’
Six months after Ian’s death, Emily launched moveTHRU, connecting those who’ve experienced loss through exercise.
What started out as an intention-based workout to cope with grief, turned into a full-blown movement nearly five years later.
Emily now helps grievers find healing, meaning and purpose in life after loss through her online coaching programs, in-person retreats, and her book, Love & Grief, that is being published February 2024.
For Emily, moveTHRU is a healing source and a way to find meaning in Ian’s death.
‘Ian’s loss taught me that life is unpredictable and control is an illusion. Living means surrendering to external forces and harnessing power from within. In this, we find lessons in adversity, treasures in each moment, and faith that things will work out, even unexpectedly,’ concluded Emily.
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